Chapter 12



"I lay on my straw, but I could not sleep. I thought

of the occurrences of the day. What chiefly struck me

was the gentle manners of these people, and I longed to join them,

but dared not. I remembered too well the treatment I had suffered

the night before from the barbarous villagers, and resolved,

whatever course of conduct I might hereafter think it right

to pursue, that for the present I would remain quietly in my hovel,

watching and endeavouring to discover the motives which influenced

their actions.



"The cottagers arose the next morning before the sun.

The young woman arranged the cottage and prepared the food,

and the youth departed after the first meal.



"This day was passed in the same routine as that which preceded it.

The young man was constantly employed out of doors, and the girl

in various laborious occupations within. The old man,

whom I soon perceived to be blind, employed his leisure hours

on his instrument or in contemplation. Nothing could exceed

the love and respect which the younger cottagers exhibited

towards their venerable companion. They performed towards him

every little office of affection and duty with gentleness,

and he rewarded them by his benevolent smiles.



"They were not entirely happy. The young man and his companion

often went apart and appeared to weep. I saw no cause

for their unhappiness, but I was deeply affected by it.

If such lovely creatures were miserable, it was less strange that I,

an imperfect and solitary being, should be wretched. Yet why

were these gentle beings unhappy? They possessed a delightful house

(for such it was in my eyes) and every luxury; they had a fire

to warm them when chill and delicious viands when hungry;

they were dressed in excellent clothes; and, still more,

they enjoyed one another's company and speech, interchanging each day

looks of affection and kindness. What did their tears imply?

Did they really express pain? I was at first unable to solve

these questions, but perpetual attention and time explained to me

many appearances which were at first enigmatic.



"A considerable period elapsed before I discovered one of the causes

of the uneasiness of this amiable family: it was poverty,

and they suffered that evil in a very distressing degree.

Their nourishment consisted entirely of the vegetables of their garden

and the milk of one cow, which gave very little during the winter,

when its masters could scarcely procure food to support it.

They often, I believe, suffered the pangs of hunger very poignantly,

especially the two younger cottagers, for several times

they placed food before the old man when they reserved none for themselves.



"This trait of kindness moved me sensibly. I had been accustomed,

during the night, to steal a part of their store for my own consumption,

but when I found that in doing this I inflicted pain on the cottagers,

I abstained and satisfied myself with berries, nuts, and roots

which I gathered from a neighbouring wood.



"I discovered also another means through which I was enabled

to assist their labours. I found that the youth spent a great part

of each day in collecting wood for the family fire, and during the night

I often took his tools, the use of which I quickly discovered,

and brought home firing sufficient for the consumption of several days.



"I remember, the first time that I did this, the young woman,

when she opened the door in the morning, appeared greatly astonished

on seeing a great pile of wood on the outside. She uttered some words

in a loud voice, and the youth joined her, who also expressed surprise.

I observed, with pleasure, that he did not go to the forest that day,

but spent it in repairing the cottage and cultivating the garden.



"By degrees I made a discovery of still greater moment. I found

that these people possessed a method of communicating their experience

and feelings to one another by articulate sounds. I perceived

that the words they spoke sometimes produced pleasure or pain,

smiles or sadness, in the minds and countenances of the hearers.

This was indeed a godlike science, and I ardently desired

to become acquainted with it. But I was baffled in every attempt

I made for this purpose. Their pronunciation was quick,

and the words they uttered, not having any apparent connection

with visible objects, I was unable to discover any clue

by which I could unravel the mystery of their reference.

By great application, however, and after having remained

during the space of several revolutions of the moon in my hovel,

I discovered the names that were given to some of the most familiar

objects of discourse; I learned and applied the words, `fire,' `milk,'

`bread,' and `wood.' I learned also the names of the cottagers

themselves. The youth and his companion had each of them several names,

but the old man had only one, which was `father.' The girl was called

`sister' or `Agatha,' and the youth `Felix,' `brother,' or `son.'

I cannot describe the delight I felt when I learned the ideas appropriated

to each of these sounds and was able to pronounce them.

I distinguished several other words without being able as yet

to understand or apply them, such as `good,' `dearest,' unhappy.



"I spent the winter in this manner. The gentle manners

and beauty of the cottagers greatly endeared them to me;

when they were unhappy, I felt depressed; when they rejoiced,

I sympathized in their joys. I saw few human beings besides them,

and if any other happened to enter the cottage, their harsh manners

and rude gait only enhanced to me the superior accomplishments

of my friends. The old man, I could perceive, often endeavoured

to encourage his children, as sometimes I found that he called them,

to cast off their melancholy. He would talk in a cheerful accent,

with an expression of goodness that bestowed pleasure even upon me.

Agatha listened with respect, her eyes sometimes filled with tears,

which she endeavoured to wipe away unperceived; but I generally found

that her countenance and tone were more cheerful after having listened

to the exhortations of her father. It was not thus with Felix.

He was always the saddest of the group, and even to my unpractised senses,

he appeared to have suffered more deeply than his friends.

But if his countenance was more sorrowful, his voice was more cheerful

than that of his sister, especially when he addressed the old man.



"I could mention innumerable instances which, although slight,

marked the dispositions of these amiable cottagers. In the midst

of poverty and want, Felix carried with pleasure to his sister

the first little white flower that peeped out from beneath

the snowy ground. Early in the morning, before she had risen,

he cleared away the snow that obstructed her path to the milk-house,

drew water from the well, and brought the wood from the outhouse,

where, to his perpetual astonishment, he found his store always

replenished by an invisible hand. In the day, I believe,

he worked sometimes for a neighbouring farmer, because he often

went forth and did not return until dinner, yet brought no wood

with him. At other times he worked in the garden, but

as there was little to do in the frosty season, he read to the old man

and Agatha.




"This reading had puzzled me extremely at first, but by degrees

I discovered that he uttered many of the same sounds when he read

as when he talked. I conjectured, therefore, that he found

on the paper signs for speech which he understood, and I ardently longed

to comprehend these also; but how was that possible

when I did not even understand the sounds for which they stood as signs?

I improved, however, sensibly in this science, but not sufficiently

to follow up any kind of conversation, although I applied my whole mind

to the endeavour, for I easily perceived that, although I eagerly longed

to discover myself to the cottagers, I ought not to make the attempt

until I had first become master of their language, which knowledge

might enable me to make them overlook the deformity of my figure,

for with this also the contrast perpetually presented to my eyes

had made me acquainted.



"I had admired the perfect forms of my cottagers--their grace,

beauty, and delicate complexions; but how was I terrified when I viewed

myself in a transparent pool! At first I started back, unable to believe

that it was indeed I who was reflected in the mirror; and when

I became fully convinced that I was in reality the monster that I am,

I was filled with the bitterest sensations of despondence and mortification.

Alas! I did not yet entirely know the fatal effects

of this miserable deformity.



"As the sun became warmer and the light of day longer, the snow vanished,

and I beheld the bare trees and the black earth. From this time

Felix was more employed, and the heart-moving indications

of impending famine disappeared. Their food, as I afterwards found,

was coarse, but it was wholesome; and they procured a sufficiency of it.

Several new kinds of plants sprang up in the garden, which they dressed;

and these signs of comfort increased daily as the season advanced.



"The old man, leaning on his son, walked each day at noon,

when it did not rain, as I found it was called when the heavens

poured forth its waters. This frequently took place, but a high wind

quickly dried the earth, and the season became far more pleasant

than it had been.



"My mode of life in my hovel was uniform. During the morning

I attended the motions of the cottagers, and when they were dispersed

in various occupations, I slept; the remainder of the day was spent

in observing my friends. When they had retired to rest,

if there was any moon or the night was star-light, I went into the woods

and collected my own food and fuel for the cottage. When I returned,

as often as it was necessary, I cleared their path from the snow

and performed those offices that I had seen done by Felix.

I afterwards found that these labours, performed by an invisible hand,

greatly astonished them; and once or twice I heard them,

on these occasions, utter the words `good spirit,' `wonderful';

but I did not then understand the signification of these terms.



"My thoughts now became more active, and I longed to discover

the motives and feelings of these lovely creatures; I was inquisitive

to know why Felix appeared so miserable and Agatha so sad. I thought

(foolish wretch!) that it might be in my power to restore happiness

to these deserving people. When I slept or was absent, the forms

of the venerable blind father, the gentle Agatha, and the excellent Felix

flitted before me. I looked upon them as superior beings

who would be the arbiters of my future destiny. I formed

in my imagination a thousand pictures of presenting myself to them,

and their reception of me. I imagined that they would be disgusted,

until, by my gentle demeanour and conciliating words,

I should first win their favour and afterwards their love.



"These thoughts exhilarated me and led me to apply with fresh ardour

to the acquiring the art of language. My organs were indeed harsh,

but supple; and although my voice was very unlike the soft music

of their tones, yet I pronounced such words as I understood

with tolerable ease. It was as the ass and the lap-dog;

yet surely the gentle ass whose intentions were affectionate,

although his manners were rude, deserved better treatment

than blows and execration.



"The pleasant showers and genial warmth of spring greatly altered

the aspect of the earth. Men who before this change seemed

to have been hid in caves dispersed themselves and were employed

in various arts of cultivation. The birds sang in more cheerful notes,

and the leaves began to bud forth on the trees. Happy, happy earth!

Fit habitation for gods, which, so short a time before, was bleak,

damp, and unwholesome. My spirits were elevated

by the enchanting appearance of nature; the past was blotted

from my memory, the present was tranquil, and the future gilded

by bright rays of hope and anticipations of joy."

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