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CHAPTER V.
THERE were moments of waiting. The youth
thought of the village street at home before the
arrival of the circus parade on a day in the
spring. He remembered how he had stood, a
small, thrillful boy, prepared to follow the dingy
lady upon the white horse, or the band in its
faded chariot. He saw the yellow road, the
lines of expectant people, and the sober houses.
He particularly remembered an old fellow who
used to sit upon a cracker box in front of the
store and feign to despise such exhibitions. A
thousand details of color and form surged in his
mind. The old fellow upon the cracker box ap-
peared in middle prominence.
Some one cried, "Here they come!"
There was rustling and muttering among the
men. They displayed a feverish desire to have
every possible cartridge ready to their hands.
The boxes were pulled around into various posi-
tions, and adjusted with great care. It was as if
seven hundred new bonnets were being tried on.
The tall soldier, having prepared his rifle, pro-
duced a red handkerchief of some kind. He was
engaged in knitting it about his throat with ex-
quisite attention to its position, when the cry was
repeated up and down the line in a muffled roar of sound.
"Here they come! Here they come!" Gun locks clicked.
Across the smoke-infested fields came a brown
swarm of running men who were giving shrill
yells. They came on, stooping and swinging
their rifles at all angles. A flag, tilted forward,
sped near the front.
As he caught sight of them the youth was
momentarily startled by a thought that perhaps
his gun was not loaded. He stood trying to
rally his faltering intellect so that he might rec-
ollect the moment when he had loaded, but he
could not.
A hatless general pulled his dripping horse to
a stand near the colonel of the 304th. He shook
his fist in the other's face. "You 've got to hold
'em back!" he shouted, savagely; "you 've got
to hold 'em back!"
In his agitation the colonel began to stammer.
"A-all r-right, General, all right, by Gawd! We-
we'll do our--we-we'll d-d-do--do our best, Gen-
eral." The general made a passionate gesture
and galloped away. The colonel, perchance to
relieve his feelings, began to scold like a wet
parrot. The youth, turning swiftly to make
sure that the rear was unmolested, saw the com-
mander regarding his men in a highly regretful
manner, as if he regretted above everything his
association with them.
The man at the youth's elbow was mumbling,
as if to himself: "Oh, we 're in for it now! oh,
we 're in for it now!"
The captain of the company had been pacing
excitedly to and fro in the rear. He coaxed in
schoolmistress fashion, as to a congregation of
boys with primers. His talk was an endless
repetition. "Reserve your fire, boys--don't
shoot till I tell you--save your fire--wait till
they get close up--don't be damned fools--"
Perspiration streamed down the youth's face,
which was soiled like that of a weeping urchin.
He frequently, with a nervous movement, wiped
his eyes with his coat sleeve. His mouth was
still a little ways open.
He got the one glance at the foe-swarming
field in front of him, and instantly ceased to de-
bate the question of his piece being loaded. Be-
fore he was ready to begin--before he had an-
nounced to himself that he was about to fight--
he threw the obedient, well-balanced rifle into
position and fired a first wild shot. Directly he
was working at his weapon like an automatic affair.
He suddenly lost concern for himself, and for-
got to look at a menacing fate. He became not a
man but a member. He felt that something of
which he was a part--a regiment, an army, a
cause, or a country--was in a crisis. He was
welded into a common personality which was
dominated by a single desire. For some mo-
ments he could not flee no more than a little
finger can commit a revolution from a hand.
If he had thought the regiment was about to
be annihilated perhaps he could have amputated
himself from it. But its noise gave him assur-
ance. The regiment was like a firework that,
once ignited, proceeds superior to circumstances
until its blazing vitality fades. It wheezed and
banged with a mighty power. He pictured the
ground before it as strewn with the discomfited.
There was a consciousness always of the pres-
ence of his comrades about him. He felt the
subtle battle brotherhood more potent even than
the cause for which they were fighting. It was a
mysterious fraternity born of the smoke and danger
of death.
He was at a task. He was like a carpenter
who has made many boxes, making still another
box, only there was furious haste in his move-
ments. He, in his thought, was careering off in
other places, even as the carpenter who as he
works whistles and thinks of his friend or his
enemy, his home or a saloon. And these jolted
dreams were never perfect to him afterward, but
remained a mass of blurred shapes.
Presently he began to feel the effects of the
war atmosphere--a blistering sweat, a sensation
that his eyeballs were about to crack like hot
stones. A burning roar filled his ears.
Following this came a red rage. He devel-
oped the acute exasperation of a pestered animal,
a well-meaning cow worried by dogs. He had a
mad feeling against his rifle, which could only be
used against one life at a time. He wished to
rush forward and strangle with his fingers. He
craved a power that would enable him to make a
world-sweeping gesture and brush all back. His
impotency appeared to him, and made his rage
into that of a driven beast.
Buried in the smoke of many rifles his anger
was directed not so much against the men whom
he knew were rushing toward him as against the
swirling battle phantoms which were choking
him, stuffing their smoke robes down his parched
throat. He fought frantically for respite for his
senses, for air, as a babe being smothered attacks
the deadly blankets.
There was a blare of heated rage mingled with
a certain expression of intentness on all faces.
Many of the men were making low-toned noises
with their mouths, and these subdued cheers,
snarls, imprecations, prayers, made a wild, bar-
baric song that went as an undercurrent of sound,
strange and chantlike with the resounding chords
of the war march. The man at the youth's elbow
was babbling. In it there was something soft and
tender like the monologue of a babe. The tall
soldier was swearing in a loud voice. From his
lips came a black procession of curious oaths. Of
a sudden another broke out in a querulous way
like a man who has mislaid his hat. "Well, why
don't they support us? Why don't they send
supports? Do they think--"
The youth in his battle sleep heard this as one
who dozes hears.
There was a singular absence of heroic poses.
The men bending and surging in their haste and
rage were in every impossible attitude. The steel
ramrods clanked and clanged with incessant din
as the men pounded them furiously into the hot
rifle barrels. The flaps of the cartridge boxes were
all unfastened, and bobbed idiotically with each
movement. The rifles, once loaded, were jerked
to the shoulder and fired without apparent aim
into the smoke or at one of the blurred and shift-
ing forms which upon the field before the regi-
ment had been growing larger and larger like
puppets under a magician's hand.
The officers, at their intervals, rearward, neg-
lected to stand in picturesque attitudes. They
were bobbing to and fro roaring directions and
encouragements. The dimensions of their howls
were extraordinary. They expended their lungs
with prodigal wills. And often they nearly stood
upon their heads in their anxiety to observe the
enemy on the other side of the tumbling smoke.
The lieutenant of the youth's company had en-
countered a soldier who had fled screaming at
the first volley of his comrades. Behind the lines
these two were acting a little isolated scene. The
man was blubbering and staring with sheeplike
eyes at the lieutenant, who had seized him by the
collar and was pommeling him. He drove him
back into the ranks with many blows. The sol-
dier went mechanically, dully, with his animal-
like eyes upon the officer. Perhaps there was to
him a divinity expressed in the voice of the other
--stern, hard, with no reflection of fear in it. He
tried to reload his gun, but his shaking hands pre-
vented. The lieutenant was obliged to assist him.
The men dropped here and there like bundles.
The captain of the youth's company had been
killed in an early part of the action. His body
lay stretched out in the position of a tired man
resting, but upon his face there was an astonished
and sorrowful look, as if he thought some friend
had done him an ill turn. The babbling man was
grazed by a shot that made the blood stream
widely down his face. He clapped both hands
to his head. "Oh!" he said, and ran. Another
grunted suddenly as if he had been struck by a
club in the stomach. He sat down and gazed
ruefully. In his eyes there was mute, indefinite
reproach. Farther up the line a man, standing
behind a tree, had had his knee joint splintered
by a ball. Immediately he had dropped his rifle
and gripped the tree with both arms. And there
he remained, clinging desperately and crying for
assistance that he might withdraw his hold upon
the tree.
At last an exultant yell went along the quiver-
ing line. The firing dwindled from an uproar to
a last vindictive popping. As the smoke slowly
eddied away, the youth saw that the charge had
been repulsed. The enemy were scattered into
reluctant groups. He saw a man climb to the
top of the fence, straddle the rail, and fire a part-
ing shot. The waves had receded, leaving bits of
dark debris upon the ground.
Some in the regiment began to whoop fren-
ziedly. Many were silent. Apparently they were
trying to contemplate themselves.
After the fever had left his veins, the youth
thought that at last he was going to suffocate.
He became aware of the foul atmosphere in
which he had been struggling. He was grimy
and dripping like a laborer in a foundry. He
grasped his canteen and took a long swallow of
the warmed water.
A sentence with variations went up and down
the line. "Well, we 've helt 'em back. We 've
helt 'em back; derned if we haven't." The men
said it blissfully, leering at each other with dirty smiles.
The youth turned to look behind him and off
to the right and off to the left. He experienced
the joy of a man who at last finds leisure in which
to look about him.
Under foot there were a few ghastly forms
motionless. They lay twisted in fantastic contor-
tions. Arms were bent and heads were turned
in incredible ways. It seemed that the dead men
must have fallen from some great height to get
into such positions. They looked to be dumped
out upon the ground from the sky.
From a position in the rear of the grove a bat-
tery was throwing shells over it. The flash of
the guns startled the youth at first. He thought
they were aimed directly at him. Through the
trees he watched the black figures of the gunners
as they worked swiftly and intently. Their labor
seemed a complicated thing. He wondered how
they could remember its formula in the midst of confusion.
The guns squatted in a row like savage chiefs.
They argued with abrupt violence. It was a
grim pow-wow. Their busy servants ran hither and thither.
A small procession of wounded men were go-
ing drearily toward the rear. It was a flow of
blood from the torn body of the brigade.
To the right and to the left were the dark
lines of other troops. Far in front he thought he
could see lighter masses protruding in points
from the forest. They were suggestive of un-
numbered thousands.
Once he saw a tiny battery go dashing along
the line of the horizon. The tiny riders were
beating the tiny horses.
From a sloping hill came the sound of cheerings
and clashes. Smoke welled slowly through the leaves.
Batteries were speaking with thunderous ora-
torical effort. Here and there were flags, the
red in the stripes dominating. They splashed
bits of warm color upon the dark lines of troops.
The youth felt the old thrill at the sight of
the emblem. They were like beautiful birds
strangely undaunted in a storm.
As he listened to the din from the hillside, to
a deep pulsating thunder that came from afar to
the left, and to the lesser clamors which came
from many directions, it occurred to him that
they were fighting, too, over there, and over
there, and over there. Heretofore he had supposed
that all the battle was directly under his nose.
As he gazed around him the youth felt a flash
of astonishment at the blue, pure sky and the
sun gleamings on the trees and fields. It was
surprising that Nature had gone tranquilly on
with her golden process in the midst of so much
devilment.
****
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